Last Day

(Parden my random train of thought and rambles.  It's all a bit stream of consciousness.)

Tomorrow is my last full day in Chicago.  It's hard to believe.  I had a moment earlier this week where it hit me that I was moving.  Away.  Alone.  Then I decided that denial was a better place to be.

I went out to Minooka yesterday to see my mom and my sisters.  It was great to spend the afternoon with them.  We didn't do much but hang out, which felt just right.  Heck, I even got a blowout and my makeup done.  When I left, it felt like a normal goodbye.  My sister Ericka leaves in Minooka (near Joliet) and my mom and sister Cat live in Bloomington.  It's often weeks or even longer between visits.  But now that I think about being so far, it's hard.

I spent today seeing a few friends and taking care of some business.  I had lunch with a few friends, and then I walked back from River North to the Loop.  It was probably the last time that I will be able to do that for a while.  It's funny the things that we take for granted.  I just wandered on State St. for a while.

I spent some time at school too.  A friend from the Institute had found some posters I left behind, and I visited with some old coworkers.  I haven't spent too much time there since graduation, and its amazing how surreal it was.  Especially now that the school year has begun and there were students everywhere.  After four years at DePaul, three of which I was also working at the law school, it's weird to realize that I am no longer part of the crowd and that I don't belong there anymore.  I had a meeting and then met a friend for a few drinks.  It was great to catch up with him, but bittersweet to know that I won't see any of my friends for a while.

It's nice to know that I have a job and a really great opportunity at that, especially since so few of my graduating class has a full time legal position right now.  The numbers are DISMALLY low, and it looks like 2012 is going to make 2011 look rosy as far as employment goes, which is truly frightening.  But it is hard to know that I have to go so far away to find that opportunity, and that I have to leave so much behind.  I know that I will survive, that my marriage is strong, and that my friends will always be there for me.  But I don't want to go.  It definitely seems harder than my move to D.C.

Tomorrow I pick up the truck, and the movers come to load it up.  I'm half worried that everything won't fit, although I know that it should.  For now, I'll focus on that and getting my house clean.  That will fill some of the void.  We have the refinance for our closing, and then I need to take my super skinny husband to buy some work clothes that aren't

We leave Saturday before 5 am.  It's a minimum eight hour drive plus stops, and could easily be even longer with traffic.  The goal is to be there by two, and by three at the latest.  It seem so imminent, and yet so far way.

To all of those who I am leaving behind, please know that I will miss you dearly.  You are loved.